Alien in Estonia

Networking

There is nothing odd about being a foreigner in Estonia. There are quite a few actually. People often ask me what I do in life... this is, maybe unfortunately, the world-wide primary question people as to strangers (not only foreigners) when they meet for the first time. I said unfortunately because it is often out of purpose and it often triggers a (subconscious) categorisation of people. I am not afraid of telling people I am an engineer, even though there is a risk of being seen pictured from the start as boring. I know I should work on my networking skills, but what I learned is that, when you meet someone new, you should rather focus on what you have in common and what brought you together: a shared hobby, a sense of belonging to the same community, a (often hidden) common desire for something. A skilled networker would then manage to establish a relationship where the other feels free to talk about his passions and challenges. This may yield opportunities for the future, being making business together or simply finding a new friend. I often miss this second step... 

Why do I talk about this? well, because it must be the first time I face so many integration challenges at the same time. A new country, a new home, away from my family and friends (except of course, my girlfriend), a new job... everything (or nearly everything) in my environment is new, and I need to establish links otherwise I will get mad soon. 

It makes me think of the song "Englishman in New York" by Sting: "I'm an alien..." and still, he spoke the same language. Indeed, my zero-knowledge of the local language, combined to the rather distant behaviour of locals, make the challenge harder. 

Belgians in Estonia

Registering to the Belgian ambassy as a resident provides some nice surprises. I thought it was just an administrative step, or related to security issues. Actually, the Belgian ambassy organises some activities and I am now in the mailing list. There are, to date, 34 registered Belgians in Estonia. 

Olivier Rochus and Ruben Bemelmans talking strategy during their double game.

This week, the Belgian tennis team is in Tallinn to pay the Davis cup match agains Ukraine. The match was to be hosted by Ukraine in Kiev, but it was moved for security concerns after the unrest in the Eastern part of the country. The Ukrainian federation choose Tallinn to host the game. Great! So I got invited to a small reception with the ambassador, the team members, representatives of the Belgian tennis federations (as usual, in Belgium, you need three federations: one Flamish, one French-speaking, and one on top), some aficionados supporters following the team, and a bunch of Belgians living in Estonia. And we got free tickets to see the match during the weekend, at the condition that we would wear red jerseys and support Belgium! We had a very exciting Saturday afternoon, the double match being fought hard for over 3 hours. It was also a special moment as Olivier Rochus, my favourite player, had previously announced he would retire at the end of the season. Seing him playing and winning for its last game under the Belgian colours was great!

My outfit at the Davis Cup game Ukraine vs. Belgium, in Tallinn...

Olivier Rochus falls into Johan Van Erck's (coach) arms after winning the double match

The Belgian supporters team gives a standing ovation to Olivier Rochus for his last Davis Cup game

The final result of this hard-fought double game. Belgium eventually won the draw against Ukraine thanks also to David Goffin's wins on Friday and Sunday. 

Networking, part 2

So here comes the second most asked question to foreigners: "Why are you here?". Locals do not always ask, other foreigners do. And with this we often find something in common: over 90% of the male expats living here have (had) an Estonian girlfriend. This is the main reason for expats coming here. I also met a couple of ladies who moved here for an Estonian partner. Rare. 

I also met a couple of guys who made the decision based on a less emotional background. Independent workers with an internet-based business or not linked to a specific geographical location (one of them even didn't need to ever travel to meet his customers, wow). These guys have soon understood that they can make a good living in Estonia if they have customers abroad: creating a company here is easy and straightforward, and the cost of living is lower if you avoid luxury goods and expensive travels abroad. And the dark winter is often over-compensated by the general quality of life, especially during the brighter months of the year. 

On the other hand, people with an employee status often regret the low salary and the nearly non-existent social security: ridiculous pension and very little compensation if you get fired. Although they seemed to like Estonia, many of them were planning to head back West sooner or later. 

Circles

So far, I managed to get some positive social interactions within the tango community and a group of Frenchies. The tango community is rather tiny, but quite relaxed. There are people at all levels of progress, so it allows me to fit into the mainstream group of dancers. At the last milonga (social dancing event), it was pretty crowded on the dance floor, so I had a bit of time to chat with a couple of guys at the bar. And between songs, there is always time for a quick introduction with dancing partners, but that's not much. Anyway, I start liking my tango maestro. He's Turkish, married to an Estonian lady. He's a very classy dancer and smily. But what makes me feel good about him is that he's not able to speak a word of Estonian!

The atmospheric Milonga Art Nouveau in the Scheeli restaurant, in the Tallinn old town.

Are all people more likely to feel connected with someone speaking their language? I don't know. I think my English is sufficient to hold any type of conversation with another non-native speaker (yes, sometimes natives speak too fast or use expressions of their own). But I have to say, I like French people. It might be the comfort of the language, but I think it's more in their culture: French people like to debate, to contradict, to challenge ideas, ... nothing is obvious, and everything can be discussed, there is place for opinions! Okay, I might generalise a bit here, but still, I like being in company of French people and reinvent the world. Somehow by chance, I found a Facebook group "on parle français à Tallinn" and joined. They organise meetings every Tuesday night, around a barbecue when it is nice weather, around music, games or sauna otherwise. Half the people in the group are locals eager to improve or maintain their French, the rest are French expats. This way, I also got to know the Institut Français d'Estonie, which has a cool mediathèque and organises events from time to time.