I haven't talked about the people so far, yet it is the first thing you observe and experience when you go to a new place. I'll give it a try, even though I am not sure I am ready to give a good portrait of the Estonian people, especially since I am still facing the language barrier.
Seasonal mood and human interactions
The official tourist information website http://www.visitestonia.com/en/ tells you that Estonians mood and general look varies across the year: they look sad and bored during winter while they are more joyful and smiling during summer. True, MORE joyful and smiling, but don't expect much smiles from strangers here. Even when it is sunny, Estonians look distant and don't smile to strangers. They don't invite strangers to conversation, and it is striking how silent public transport is: nobody talks to each other and you rarely see people looking at each other from close range.
More distinctively, people do their best to avoid any interaction or contact with others. When the bus is crowded, people spontaneously try to make space to others so that they can move around and fit without the need for anyone to ask for permission or asking for space. Everything seems to happen smoothly, and always in silence. So, if you want to do like Estonians, don't talk to anyone at the bus stop, even if you feel sympathy for these people waiting under the rain like you, and - when on the bus - look in the distance through the window.
Estonia is not Québec (I have never been to Québec, but this is what everyone who went reported): people here won't spontaneously stop to help you if you look lost with a map or if you seem to struggle with an excess of stuff to carry. But I tend to think that once you ask someone something, even if they might be surprised, they will help you and be kind.
In the coming months, as I will improve my knowledge of the Estonian language and commute to work on the other side of town, I will have opportunities to experience this better and (with care) test more deeply the behaviour of Estonians.
In the coming months, as I will improve my knowledge of the Estonian language and commute to work on the other side of town, I will have opportunities to experience this better and (with care) test more deeply the behaviour of Estonians.
Drunk people
As you walk around Tallinn, there is one thing you can't miss: there are drunk people at any time of the day. Mostly, middle-aged men. In any city, it is not unusual to meet drunk people on weekend nights. But here, you will meet them even on a Tuesday at 11 AM, in any district of town.
At first, you think this guy there in the distance has an odd limp, or a painful leg. Then as you approach you see that he fails to walk straight and needs to stop from time to time to recover balance before walking on. Most of them are lonely individuals. They do not seem scary or behave aggressively. They just try to get back home.
Alcoholism is a problem in Estonia. I guess it is a problem in all Nordic countries as a consequence of long dark winters. There is a ban to selling alcoholic drinks between 22:00 and 10:00, except in pubs with an official authorisation. If you go to the supermarket at 9:45 in the morning, you will see people starting to select beers (or vodka) and waiting impatiently for 10:00 - before that, the lady at the cassa will not let them through. And in the evening, shortly before 22:00, the same - the other way around: people rushing to buy drinks before the time. Oh I forgot to mention: in Estonia, supermarkets are open every day until 22:00 ; what a difference with Belgium! and some of them have an impressive alcohol section: just an example, you can find Vodka from a dozen of different brands and, moreover, in many different shapes and sizes of containers, ranging from the tiny shot in a plastic bottle to a "magnum" in glass. Until a few weeks ago, it was also forbidden to drink in public places. Now, you can go around with your beer bottle. I don't think it changes much.
Alcoholism is a problem in Estonia. I guess it is a problem in all Nordic countries as a consequence of long dark winters. There is a ban to selling alcoholic drinks between 22:00 and 10:00, except in pubs with an official authorisation. If you go to the supermarket at 9:45 in the morning, you will see people starting to select beers (or vodka) and waiting impatiently for 10:00 - before that, the lady at the cassa will not let them through. And in the evening, shortly before 22:00, the same - the other way around: people rushing to buy drinks before the time. Oh I forgot to mention: in Estonia, supermarkets are open every day until 22:00 ; what a difference with Belgium! and some of them have an impressive alcohol section: just an example, you can find Vodka from a dozen of different brands and, moreover, in many different shapes and sizes of containers, ranging from the tiny shot in a plastic bottle to a "magnum" in glass. Until a few weeks ago, it was also forbidden to drink in public places. Now, you can go around with your beer bottle. I don't think it changes much.
Women: so many, so beautiful
Maybe you don't see the transition between drunk people and women, but there is actually one: alcoholism among men in Estonia is one of the factors explaining the imbalance between women and men in the Estonian population. For every 85 men, there are 100 women: WOUHOU (expression of joy in French)!
I didn't make a research on the topic, but you can check by yourself on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_sex_ratio, select "total" as classification index and you'll see that Estonia comes second only to the Northern Mariana Islands, a small island in the Pacific I never hear of before and counting less than 80.000 inhabitants. Now, the world average is 90 men for 100 women, so don't over-estimate the issue. You'll also notice that the other Baltic countries and several former Soviet states are in the top countries. There must be some common factor, and not only the long dark winter. Nevertheless, you will also see in the tables that, at birth, there are slightly more boys than girls, but in older ranges, the imbalance becomes impressive.
Katri often told me that Estonian men don't take much care of themselves. Here I am facing a chicken-and-egg dilemma. Men might be pampered by the quantity of women around them. Middle aged men, even if they are not full of charm, might have plenty of ladies to choose from. So they don't pay much attention to themselves and don't develop skills and habits to lead a healthy life: cooking and eating balanced, healthy food, and not drinking (or at least, not often). So that makes the men's mortality so high.
Now, compared to Western European men, I have to say that Estonian men give the impression of being strong and skilled with their hands. Every man here can (at least, in my imagination) use a chainsaw, cut wood, build a wooden cabinet and manage a barbecue. Okay, I'm probably focused on things I'm not very good at myself. But I developed my own theory: men here are still expected to manage these tasks and they have many opportunities to do them, so that leaves them less time to contribute to cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. Interestingly, Estonia has a very Nordic approach when it comes to parental leave: both the mother and the father may take long leaves and they can split up to a cumulated 18 months with full pay and 18 more months without losing your job. But the fact is that men rarely take a significant part in this leave. Gender differences are still visible.
Instead of talking about women, I have been talking about gender differences. It's coming. Estonian women are, apparently, the magnet for foreign men. Yes, when I tell people I live here because my girlfriend is Estonian, people don't need more and say "oh, the classical story!". At a French-speaking barbecue, I met an entrepreneur who was proud to say "I like Estonia, and I didn't come here for ladies!". The same night, I met a French lady who moved here because she has an Estonian boyfriend. Now, that's original!
When meeting them (often at the first encounter), I remember being asked by several Estonian (girl)friends of Katri what I thought of Estonian ladies. That would normally be embarrassing, in presence of my girlfriend. But she openly told me from the start how good-looking were Estonian ladies. She didn't say that in self-promotion, but rather with admiration. She is right. At least, I share the same feeling. After all, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", it is subjective, a matter of taste.
You are certainly able to figure with no effort a tv commercial starring a beautiful lady, with a cute smile and blond hair in the wind, wearing a nice dress or a tailleur - maybe, air hostess style - and seemingly moving in slow motion. Well, when I walk around Tallinn, I experience that every day, and more than once. At least in summer time. But what makes them so attractive? They certainly take care of themselves and they like to dress nicely, contrarily to men, who seem to prefer relaxed clothes. But that is not unique to Estonia.
The mainstream type here is the blonde with smooth hair. Yes, if you are into blondes, Estonia is a good place. But you find a bit of everything. And in August, some people are surprisingly tanned. Now, what I like here, is the way ladies get dressed. It is not the sophisticated style of Italians (which can be nice too). It is very different. I would call it "retro", nice retro. I am not a fashion expert, so excuse me if you think differently - it is just a personal way of sight. You take the best of the '60s and '70s movies, with colourful dresses but without the funny haircuts (you see some variety in hairstyle, but not so much), and you have a good glimpse of everyday Tallinn. I am not yet spending my days in an Estonian workplace, and anyway I'll certainly have mostly men in my office. But I imagine the fashion show in a normal (or rather, non-engineering) office.
I feel that ladies here like to dress well. I don't think they do it to impress men. I believe they like to do it for themselves and also for the other ladies - there might be some competition too. They are not afraid to show their legs, a skirt - even short - is not shocking. Colours are bright. I don't know what went wrong in Belgium that ladies feel the need to hide themselves and prefer not being noticed. Maybe the flip side of Estonians being so distant to strangers is that ladies don't feel harassed or looked at by men when they walk around, and so they feel free to dress up and look as pretty as they like.
I didn't make a research on the topic, but you can check by yourself on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_sex_ratio, select "total" as classification index and you'll see that Estonia comes second only to the Northern Mariana Islands, a small island in the Pacific I never hear of before and counting less than 80.000 inhabitants. Now, the world average is 90 men for 100 women, so don't over-estimate the issue. You'll also notice that the other Baltic countries and several former Soviet states are in the top countries. There must be some common factor, and not only the long dark winter. Nevertheless, you will also see in the tables that, at birth, there are slightly more boys than girls, but in older ranges, the imbalance becomes impressive.
Katri often told me that Estonian men don't take much care of themselves. Here I am facing a chicken-and-egg dilemma. Men might be pampered by the quantity of women around them. Middle aged men, even if they are not full of charm, might have plenty of ladies to choose from. So they don't pay much attention to themselves and don't develop skills and habits to lead a healthy life: cooking and eating balanced, healthy food, and not drinking (or at least, not often). So that makes the men's mortality so high.
Now, compared to Western European men, I have to say that Estonian men give the impression of being strong and skilled with their hands. Every man here can (at least, in my imagination) use a chainsaw, cut wood, build a wooden cabinet and manage a barbecue. Okay, I'm probably focused on things I'm not very good at myself. But I developed my own theory: men here are still expected to manage these tasks and they have many opportunities to do them, so that leaves them less time to contribute to cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. Interestingly, Estonia has a very Nordic approach when it comes to parental leave: both the mother and the father may take long leaves and they can split up to a cumulated 18 months with full pay and 18 more months without losing your job. But the fact is that men rarely take a significant part in this leave. Gender differences are still visible.
Instead of talking about women, I have been talking about gender differences. It's coming. Estonian women are, apparently, the magnet for foreign men. Yes, when I tell people I live here because my girlfriend is Estonian, people don't need more and say "oh, the classical story!". At a French-speaking barbecue, I met an entrepreneur who was proud to say "I like Estonia, and I didn't come here for ladies!". The same night, I met a French lady who moved here because she has an Estonian boyfriend. Now, that's original!
When meeting them (often at the first encounter), I remember being asked by several Estonian (girl)friends of Katri what I thought of Estonian ladies. That would normally be embarrassing, in presence of my girlfriend. But she openly told me from the start how good-looking were Estonian ladies. She didn't say that in self-promotion, but rather with admiration. She is right. At least, I share the same feeling. After all, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", it is subjective, a matter of taste.
You are certainly able to figure with no effort a tv commercial starring a beautiful lady, with a cute smile and blond hair in the wind, wearing a nice dress or a tailleur - maybe, air hostess style - and seemingly moving in slow motion. Well, when I walk around Tallinn, I experience that every day, and more than once. At least in summer time. But what makes them so attractive? They certainly take care of themselves and they like to dress nicely, contrarily to men, who seem to prefer relaxed clothes. But that is not unique to Estonia.
The mainstream type here is the blonde with smooth hair. Yes, if you are into blondes, Estonia is a good place. But you find a bit of everything. And in August, some people are surprisingly tanned. Now, what I like here, is the way ladies get dressed. It is not the sophisticated style of Italians (which can be nice too). It is very different. I would call it "retro", nice retro. I am not a fashion expert, so excuse me if you think differently - it is just a personal way of sight. You take the best of the '60s and '70s movies, with colourful dresses but without the funny haircuts (you see some variety in hairstyle, but not so much), and you have a good glimpse of everyday Tallinn. I am not yet spending my days in an Estonian workplace, and anyway I'll certainly have mostly men in my office. But I imagine the fashion show in a normal (or rather, non-engineering) office.
I feel that ladies here like to dress well. I don't think they do it to impress men. I believe they like to do it for themselves and also for the other ladies - there might be some competition too. They are not afraid to show their legs, a skirt - even short - is not shocking. Colours are bright. I don't know what went wrong in Belgium that ladies feel the need to hide themselves and prefer not being noticed. Maybe the flip side of Estonians being so distant to strangers is that ladies don't feel harassed or looked at by men when they walk around, and so they feel free to dress up and look as pretty as they like.
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